the kkk took my baby away

This month has been a cold one.

youth: a brief and violent past

im tired and im crashing all the time, the highs in my life arent out weighing the lows. i shouldnt be this scared all the time but i am, my throat is ripped out and im begging for more. im to young to feel this old. but enough about me.

sleeping like theres no tomorrow.

...

I TRIED TO PICK OUT SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE.
ITS HARD.
I GOT YOU PORCELAIN RINGS, YOUR WRISTS DIDNT FIT
YOU LEFT ME BEHIND

baby im drunk and its warm
not like you are listening but im naked in the backyard
picking flowers that look just like your face when you wake up
not that you care
im digging two graves one is a bed and the others a door
not that you are awake
you will wake up next to a shovel, it wont leave the marks that i do
"what doesnt kill you", well baby it will eventually
paint a picture of me in shining silver ink
this is a gateway drug
your coming home and im buying time
just grab the handle and fill the holes.

so its been a while.
maybe because i forgot my password,
maybe cause i had nothing to say
maybe because no one really noticed i stopped
but im back for a bit

i want to......

sleepy sweaty smiley

im sorry but.....

Michale Graves misfits isnt that bad....

these will never get old

smokey joe

i just told a cat to grow up....

all this sad music has got to stop!!

but this is too fucked up not to like

hey are you still young?

you laid a welcome mat out
i tried not to give you all of me
my tongue is away on holiday
i rush
i dance my way to a corner
i inhaled your skin
the blues make sense to me
"baby lets be free"
im watching all of this through fistfight eyes
you have no idea
a teenage killing spree
hot night wedding rings
tonight, tomorrow, right now
either way that suns coming up
either way im walking home
either way its damage done






"let me be your candy man"

you are pretty, so ill do whatever you tell me to.

if you have seen my willpower anywhere, please let me know. ive been looking for it.

you are pretty girl, but god damn, don't be so cruel.

she looks like heaven and i feel like the devil.

i love the promise ring. fuck you if you dont, and if you say cap'n jazz is better, fuck you. ive gotten back into pretty good shape, mountain biking turned out to be an ok way of keeping my legs and it made me realize how much i like riding my road bike.
girls wont talk to me unless im drunk, and thats the truth. that could prove to be a pretty big problem once they find out how lame i am the other 98% of the time. ive been fucked over big time by some people during the last few months but ive also really gotten close with some others, friends are good. im disgusted in you most of all though, you really pulled some shit on me and you look like a fool. everyone wants a look inside my head these days it seems like, you've got nothing to worry about, im great and fucked up and pissed off and sad and joyful and loving every minute of it, so dont try to analyze me please. this is part of me growing up, if that makes any sense. you all are everything to me. gaboosh.

I saved latin.

what did you ever do?

sleeping like there's no tomorrow

I've got sharp teeth, you wouldn't like me baby.

focus on me.

Dear______,
i got you mad.
i got under your skin.
you cant figure me out.
it eats you up.
-Me.

that note was pinned to my shirt when i woke up covered in dust and ash, my inhaler was nowhere to be found. one more day waking up gasping for air, i dont mind. im winning these days, people are knocking but my music is to loud. angry songs. im gonna keep my head down.

take him away in a box or a bag

i did to much of it

life is gonna stop giving me second chances and then ill just make it easy and do it myself.



hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me me me me me me me me hate me me mememe.


cause i already fucking hate myself.


goodbye.

days spent in our heads

its 530 in the morning and im awake because i keep having nightmares. my pillow is soaked in sweat and i feel like i could puke if i had enough courage to walk the 10 feet to my bathroom, but the house is dark and im to scared to leave my room, not like its any safer in here, shadows are long on the walls and i woke up so many times only to fall back into that fucked up half sleep that im not even sure im awake right now, typing these stupid words that no one bothers to read anyway. the nightmares dont make sense, and they probably never do. i find myself in old houses of mine that now seem bigger and flipped upside down with my family under the same roof but offering no help, my brother is closer but still just out of reach but when i get scared all i want him to do is protect me. warnings of ghosts and a sinking feeling in my stomach keep me from falling asleep, even in my dreams i cant sleep. on a desert road i try to rest in the front seat of my car and just before i can something starts to shake it and i cant reach the keys to drive away, all i want is to sleep.

i miss you

so fucking much.

aw heck

she has a heart shaped burn on her throat,
and ive got a gaping wound just below my collar bone.

tell me to stop

its funny how if you start your night off saying things like "i want to puke in this house" or "this night is going down in flames" thats usually what happens, self fulfilling prophecies i guess. i need to get back to basics, ive cut to many cords that were wrapped to tight around my throat. ive been riding more and my legs are coming back which feels amazing however my free time is officially gone as of tomorrow, ill be working 12 hour days six days a week just so i dont have to move back into my parents house. nights are starting to blur together and i dont mind the dull pain, in fact, i probably need it so i dont lose my mind. i hurt myself more than anyone else ever could, i think about dumping acid in my ears just make it easier for you to hate me, but you would probably eat that up, thats always the case. the worse i get, the more i act like a child, the more i spit in the face of "good ideas" the more of my blood i throw in the water to attract the sharks, they are swimming around my feet as we speak, but the scary part is i hate the idea of clear safe water. so ill keep feeding you, as long as you keep biting at my limbs.





"out of spite the lightning strikes him twice"

sell me sex?

im choking on lust.

a cheap shot at love

" i shot my partner in a training exercise today"

"oh awesome"

"well, you aren't supposed to, see, a partner is like a buddy."

"what!? you shot your buddy?!"





"even Christ himself would cringe at the sight of your scars. "

how could you lay that slick faggot?

i met the mothman

he told me he wants to see you.





























Ill wrap this year up when im damn well ready.



"We made a sacrifice"