she looks like heaven and i feel like the devil.

i love the promise ring. fuck you if you dont, and if you say cap'n jazz is better, fuck you. ive gotten back into pretty good shape, mountain biking turned out to be an ok way of keeping my legs and it made me realize how much i like riding my road bike.
girls wont talk to me unless im drunk, and thats the truth. that could prove to be a pretty big problem once they find out how lame i am the other 98% of the time. ive been fucked over big time by some people during the last few months but ive also really gotten close with some others, friends are good. im disgusted in you most of all though, you really pulled some shit on me and you look like a fool. everyone wants a look inside my head these days it seems like, you've got nothing to worry about, im great and fucked up and pissed off and sad and joyful and loving every minute of it, so dont try to analyze me please. this is part of me growing up, if that makes any sense. you all are everything to me. gaboosh.

I saved latin.

what did you ever do?

sleeping like there's no tomorrow

I've got sharp teeth, you wouldn't like me baby.

focus on me.

Dear______,
i got you mad.
i got under your skin.
you cant figure me out.
it eats you up.
-Me.

that note was pinned to my shirt when i woke up covered in dust and ash, my inhaler was nowhere to be found. one more day waking up gasping for air, i dont mind. im winning these days, people are knocking but my music is to loud. angry songs. im gonna keep my head down.

take him away in a box or a bag

i did to much of it

life is gonna stop giving me second chances and then ill just make it easy and do it myself.



hate me hate me hate me hate me hate me me me me me me me me hate me me mememe.


cause i already fucking hate myself.


goodbye.

days spent in our heads

its 530 in the morning and im awake because i keep having nightmares. my pillow is soaked in sweat and i feel like i could puke if i had enough courage to walk the 10 feet to my bathroom, but the house is dark and im to scared to leave my room, not like its any safer in here, shadows are long on the walls and i woke up so many times only to fall back into that fucked up half sleep that im not even sure im awake right now, typing these stupid words that no one bothers to read anyway. the nightmares dont make sense, and they probably never do. i find myself in old houses of mine that now seem bigger and flipped upside down with my family under the same roof but offering no help, my brother is closer but still just out of reach but when i get scared all i want him to do is protect me. warnings of ghosts and a sinking feeling in my stomach keep me from falling asleep, even in my dreams i cant sleep. on a desert road i try to rest in the front seat of my car and just before i can something starts to shake it and i cant reach the keys to drive away, all i want is to sleep.